2010 Goals

With a new year come new goals. January 1st always feels like an opportunity at a fresh start. I used to have New Year’s “resolutions,” but like many, found that they were in some cases too lofty to actually achieve, or became tedious after a few months. Instead of “resolutions,” I like the idea of “goals.” Goals give me something to strive for, and if for some reason I find them to be too overwhelming, I have the opportunity to alter them as needed.

After reading about The Happy Housewife’s goals, I decided to break my goals down into categories, that way I can work on multiple areas of my life this year.

My 2010 Goals

Organization
Purge the house – work on one room each month (clean from top to bottom)
Hold two garage sales (spring/fall)
Reevaluate filing system – purge unneeded items; possibly scan others to disk

Health
Stay active – make exercising a priority (30+ minutes 5+ days/week)
Complete two or more running/adventure races
Complete the Detox Strategy or similar detox program
Try an Elimination and/or Rotation diet

Financial
Do not add pay increase to budget – save part of the increase (to fund fall vacation), pay down Jeep with the rest
Check budget weekly to monitor spending

Learning
Increase time spent reading to kids
Work more one-on-one with each child
Schedule kids’ learning time around their individual clocks (Jolie early morning, Jensen midday, Jake early evening)
Plan and order new materials in the spring to avoid rush

Personal
Have some fun – go on a monthly date night with Hubby (rock climbing, kayaking, biking, etc.)
Try hard to stick to my schedule – I know I work best with a schedule, and need to stick to it
Get out in the garden daily (if the weather allows)
Decrease computer time
Read more books that are outside my comfort zone (political, economic, etc.)

You Lied to Me!

So, apparently I am a liar.

This year, Jensen has become obsessed with the holidays. And when I say holidays, I mean presents. For a child that is usually very giving and non-materialistic, he just won’t leave the idea alone. It is puzzling to me.

While I was reading an article today, Jensen came up and asked me a question. I was focused on the article so I said, “wait a minute,” so I could finish the article and then focus my attention on him. When I finished the article he said that he was going to open a present from under the tree. I told him that he needed to wait a few more days, and then we would open the gifts.

Jensen stopped dead in his tracks and glared at me.

Jensen - “You lied to me! You told me that I could open a present.”
Me - “No, I didn’t. It isn’t time yet.”
Jensen – “You told me I could open one ‘in a minute.’”

With a smile, I had to explain to him that I meant that I would be able to listen to his question in a minute, not that he’d be able to open a gift. He wasn’t pleased with my answer and walked away sulking, assured that I had lied to him.

Note to self – remember that four year olds are in a literal phase of development.

Happy Holidays – A Rant

Happy Holidays! What is wrong with saying “Happy Holidays” to someone? This isn’t the first year that I have heard people complain about being told “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas” during the holiday season. I guess I just don’t understand why “Happy Holidays” is offensive to people. Last time I checked, the United States was NOT a Christian country, but instead a melting pot, with people who come from many different religious, cultural, and ethnic backgrounds.

Christmas is not the only winter holiday that is celebrated in the United States. Many of the world's religions have a winter festival (most of which focus on light during a time of darkness). We are lucky to live in a country where we are able to freely practice the religion of our choosing. Here are just a few additional winter festivals that are celebrated across the United States and around the world: Hanukkah (Jewish); Kwanzaa (African American); Solstice; Yule; Diwali (Hindu); Yalda (Persian)…the list goes on and on.

To me, generally saying "happy holidays" to someone during this season of multiple holidays seems appropriate. The statement validates that there are different holidays occurring during this time of year, and that everyone's religious holiday has importance and should be respected.

Respect…wouldn’t that fall under the Golden Rule? Treating others as you would want to be treated? Respecting others as you would want to be respected?

During this time of Peace and Joy, when supposed Love and Kindness abound, maybe we should consider adding Respect to our holiday list…and be sure to check it twice.

Proof is in the Photos

Congratulations, Jolie!

An Historic Day

So what were you doing at 12pm ET today?

I'm sure people will be asking that question for years to come. No matter your political affiliation, today was special. Today the first African American was sworn in as President of the United States of America.


So where were we? We were rushing home from art class, trying to get home so we could watch the swearing in on C-SPAN. We heard Vice President Biden take the oath of office while we were rushing home (I promise I was trying to go the speed limit). I was sure we were going to miss watching President Obama say his oath on television, but to my surprise (and extreme enjoyment) there was a wonderful quartet arrangement that preceded his oath. We pulled into the driveway as the musicians were finishing up, and ran in and grabbed seats on the couch.


My kids will look back on today and say that they watched the Presidential Inauguration as a family, lined up on the couch, watching history unfold.

Updated Allowance Chart

The kids and I have been doing a great job at choosing our chores daily from our envelope chore system. Jensen is even getting in on the fun. I guess it is time to make his envelopes so he can officially join in.

I really like the idea behind Chore Wars. I think that it is nice that a family can tailor the program to suit their needs rather that being a one-size-fits-all site. It was, however, getting to be somewhat of a chore (ironically enough) for me to put everyone’s chores into the site at the end of the day. There were times when I’d forget and have to go back several days to input chore information to ensure that everyone was getting his or her points. The other problem I was having with Chore Wars was that the site would keep a running weekly total for all chores completed during the previous seven days. The kids were having trouble figuring out exactly how many points they had earned from Monday morning to date because there were additional days from the previous week also being added into the total.

In an effort to streamline the process, I decided to do a slight adaptation of the method set forth in America's Cheapest Family Gets You Right On The Money, by Steve and Annette Economides. (I enjoyed the book and recommend it to others as a refresher in getting one's family back on financial track, or as a way to glean a few more tips on how to pinch pennies here and there.) Their program focuses on a point system and the children are awarded an allowance based on the points they have accumulated during the week.

Rather than keeping points for each chore completed, the kids are now scored in four different categories; morning chores, school work, daily chores, and bedtime. If a child completes his or her morning chores (get up, get dressed, make bed, brush teeth and hair, and wash face) on time, they will get one point. Another point is earned if they complete their individual educational goals each day before we start our evening routine. If they complete all of their chosen daily chores, they get another point. Finally, if they are ready for bed and reading quietly at 8pm, they receive their final point.

I finalized the chart last weekend so we could use it this past week, as we got back into our regular routine. I think it was a success. Jake earned $3 (out of $5), Jolie earned $1.10 (out of $2.50) and Jensen earned $.30. The chart is posted on the side of the fridge next to our daily routine so that they can keep track of their responsibilities without me needing to harp on them to get their stuff done. I have put the chart into a plastic paper protector and us a wipe-off marker to keep track of accumulated points.

As usual, if the method isn’t working, I’ll modify it to meet the needs of our family or scrap it completely for a different method. I'm semi-flexible like that.

Next weekend we are planning to sit down on “Pay Day” (Sunday evening) and delegate the kids’ earnings into Savings, Charitable Giving, and Personal funds. We want the kids to learn how to save, how to give, and how to have a little fun with what they work hard to earn. Hopefully learning those skills early will set them up well for life in the real world when they are grown.

Polie Bear Time

Jolie has started her own blog. The blog will be based on her written and illustrated stories, as well as her artwork and photography. She is very excited about her blog and has already added (or rather I added) two of her stories. I'm sure there will be many more to come. I hope you will check them out.

Isn't Clothing Optional?

Jensen is our token nudist. If given the option, he would never wear clothing. I don’t think it has anything to do with his dislike of the texture of clothing, but rather the freedom of not wearing any. Jolie, on the other hand, had certain textures that she wouldn’t wear and was very particular about the seams and tags in her clothing. Regardless, she always found something that worked (though she may have worn it for a week straight because it felt good) and was rarely naked.

I spent a majority of the day today trying to keep Jensen clothed while we were at a homeschool costume party. He started out in jammies (which he chooses to wear most of the day, everyday), and then transitioned into his Spiderman costume, followed by undies. What? Undies?

Yup. I walked in to the party after a doctor’s appointment (I’m fine, just some fluid in my ear caused by a sinus infection that was causing some dizziness, nausea and headaches…I’ll be fine by the end of the week) to find him running around the backyard in his Buzz Lightyear glow-in-the-dark undies.

Luckily, most of the mommies didn’t protest too loudly. They either understood my struggle, or were just being nice, quietly cursing my child under their breath. All I can say is at least he was wearing underwear. As soon as we got home he lost those too.

He did finally put on a shirt at the costume party, so it looked like he was wearing a dress, satisfying everyone.

Unless we are attending an important function, I usually let my kids wear what they please. Jensen can be found wearing rain boots (Jake's old holey rain boots at that) all year long with a cape as an accessory; Jolie will wear any shirt with a jean skirt as long as she can pair them with colorful socks; and Jake is usually wearing differing shades of the same color. I feel that by choosing their own clothes, they are being allowed to express themselves. I don’t remember my mom ever dictating what I had to wear unless we were going somewhere where formal clothes were necessary, and even then we weren’t restricted much.

I know that Jensen will outgrow his nakedness in time. For now, be prepared to experience a little nakedness if you’re making a trip to our place. Outside the house undies are required, but at home, clothing is optional if you are Jensen.

Why Do Children Keep their Rooms Clean?

Are most kids intrinsically or extrinsically motivated to keep their rooms clean?

A little Psychology 101 –

Intrinsic motivation is an internal drive to do something just to do it (an end in itself).

Extrinsic motivation is doing something in order to obtain or gain something else (a means to an end).

Santrock, J. (2004). Child Development, 10th ed. Boston: McGraw-Hill.

So now, would you say more kids are intrinsically or extrinsically motivated?

I personally am mixed in my response.

I was one of those kids who kept a very tidy room. Ask my sisters, I’m sure it made them sick. Everything had a place. I could always tell if someone had been in my room because things would have been out of place. I was one of “those” kids who would rush home to do my homework after elementary and middle school so I could organize some aspect of my room (yes, I know I was a loser). I would have to say that I kept my room clean for no other reason than I liked having a clean room. That’s intrinsic motivation.

I have come to the realization that not all kids are like I was. Some fall into the “extrinsically motivated” category and need a little push in order to get their rooms clean. Some examples of extrinsic motivators might be an allowance, reward chart, empty threats, punishment, etc. You get the idea.

My kids fall into this second camp. They have better things to do than to organize their rock collections ten times a day and make sure the lamp on their desk is angled correctly for the proper lighting of their writing journal. They are freer spirits than I, and I applaud them for that. I do, however, need to find the right extrinsic motivator so that they will keep their rooms clean (why couldn’t they have just gotten my organizational gene…that would have made life much easier).

Currently, an if/then system is working for Jakob. If his room is clean, then he gets to go outside and play, have friends over, or play on the computer/PS2 (this one is only valid on the weekend). He has been doing fairly well. When his friend comes to the door, he (remembering better than I) checks his room and gets it straightened before going out. There is always an inspection process that takes place before automatic approval. I go around the room checking under the desk and dressers to make sure that things didn’t “accidentally” find their way under them instead of away where they go. Jake’s doing great with this system, so I think for him, it will stay. I guess technically keeping a clean room qualifies for Chore Wars points, so he is also getting an allowance for his cleanliness as well (that is when we remember to add up our Chore Wars points…I’m designing a new chore system…I’ll keep you updated).

The if/then system is not working for Jolie. That is probably because she doesn’t have a close friend in the area to play with like Jake does, so she doesn’t care if she has to stay inside or in our yard. She also doesn’t care about getting an allowance, most likely because she is still somewhat young for an allowance. I’m not a big fan of reward charts, but if I have to resort to one I will. Physical punishment is not on my “To Do” list, so that is out. That only leaves empty threats. I’m pretty good at those…“If you don’t clean up your toys by X time I’m going to take them away/donate them/sell them/throw them away.” I know, I know. Not the best technique, but sometimes I just fly by the seat of my pants.

Well, tonight, those empty threats materialized into actual consequences. I told her that the toys that were out on her floor at 8pm were going to be taken away. She then said to me, “I’ll just buy them back from you like I did last time.” (Yes, last time I had her pay me $1 from her allowance to get her toys back.) So, at 8pm I went through her room and picked up three colorful bins full of toys (you know, the large ones that sit at an angle in that shelvey thing that I think many of us have). I know if I had been her, I would have been running around the room picking up toys as fast as I could before my mom had snatched them up…especially my most prized toys. Nope, not Jolie. I was irked that she thought she could just buy her way out of having to clean up after herself. Well, (probably) not this time! I hate to get rid of perfectly good toys, so throwing them away isn’t an option. I will probably go through them myself and let her “buy” back some of the more important toys from me (her LeapPad, Littlest Pet Shop pets, etc.), but not for a while. I’m going to see if she really misses her toys before I decide which ones she really needs back.

I’ve heard of other families who have had each child write down their top 10 toys (in order) and gathered up everything else and boxed it away. If it wasn’t needed or asked for after a set amount of time (not sure if it was weeks/months/year), it was sold or donated. That might be an option for us. We’ll see.

I’d like to see a reduction in the amount of toys we have around our place. Hopefully we can make a move from quantity to quality and nip our messy bedroom troubles in the bud.

Living For Legos

Today Jake decided to start his own blog...LivingForLegos. Check it out and let him know what you think. He has been thinking about starting a blog for a while now...basically since Justin and I started ours. I spent the night helping him with his layout, colors and images. He is still in the beginning planning phases, so check back in a few weeks to see his progress.

I am hoping that the blog will help him with his typing skills, computer skills and his writing.

Jake doesn't care for writing much. It isn't that he can't create wonderful stories...he's been asking me for years to write down his stories, which usually revolve around action figures or Lego creations. I believe Jake's dislike of writing has to do with the use of fine motor skills. I am a firm believer that all children develop at their own pace. Jake's fine motor skills have improved dramatically over the past year or so. He used to have trouble holding a pencil or crayon when most other preschoolers were coloring within the lines. I can't complain. I was almost held back in first grade because I wouldn't color within the lines. My mom thinks that I was just in a hurry and wanted to go on to the next coloring sheet. When coloring and labeling his history/geography maps, Jake will ask if he can use different types of lines to distinguish between different areas rather than to shade them different colors. I don't mind...he is getting the job done. Coloring in the different segments requires more precise fine motor skills in order to stay within the lines, whereas drawing straight or dotted lines use both gross motor skills (the movement of the arm) as well as fine motor skills (the use of the wrist and hand muscles).

As soon as Jake masters typing, I think he will more enjoy writing stories. I'm hoping that he will want to enter a homeschooling writing contest that some of my Norfolk homeschooling friends have put together. Jolie writes stories almost daily and has been coloring in the lines since she was old enough to hold a pencil. But she is shy, and has trouble opening up to adults, whereas Jake is a social butterfly and has been able to speak intelligently with adults since he started talking. Jake and Jolie were talking fluently at about 20 months old. It has been hard to understand Jensen until just a few months ago, but he was walking and darn near running at 10 1/2 months old.

All kids are different. With three of them, I realize that more and more each day. They each have their strengths and their weaknesses. I see them using their strengths and asking for assistance with their weaknesses, even at these young ages. I think their ability to ask for help, or to know where to go to look for assistance when they need it, will come in handy when they are adults.

This blog will be a good learning tool for Jake. I hope he decides to stay with it and learns some new skills in the process. Let us know what you think if you get a chance. I'm sure he'd love the feedback.

First Day Back

Today was our official “first day of school.” So what does that mean for a homeschooler that tries to school year round? Well, today was the day that we brought out our new materials, started a new “schedule,” and generally got back into the swing of things.

I prefer to school year round. This year was somewhat different because we moved at the beginning of June and I decided that we would just take the summer off to get completely acclimated to our new home and area. We did finish up some history over the summer that we had fallen behind on last year, but generally we just did a lot of reading this summer and met some new homeschool friends.

Today went fairly well. We are all trying to not only get adjusted to a new school schedule, but Justin has a new work schedule as well. We are now at a command where they do shift work, so his schedule will change periodically, probably just frequently enough to royally mess up our routine on a regular basis :)

I am still working to ensure that I am “inspiring not requiring” of my children, especially Jake. Growing up in the public school system is definitely tainting. I would like so much to just let him go and learn as thoughts and desires come to him, but after being force-fed “education” for half my life, it is so hard to let go even though I know that that system does not work.

Two hundred years ago, before we had a public school system, children, such at Thomas Jefferson, thrived in a mentoring world. Children learned how to read, write, sew, and work the land from and older sibling, parent, or surrogate mentor. It had worked for hundreds of years prior as well. I know that the mentoring system is an outstanding model for education; I just need to fully break my subconscious bonds with “traditional” schooling. Maybe I should just chant, “Just let go…just let go…just let go” each night as I drift off to sleep.

In the spirit of mentoring, Jake and I decided to create a weekly goal sheet so that he can work towards completing certain goals each week. I admit that I assisted in his goal planning process, but will be willing to alter the weekly goals as necessary to meet his personal educational needs. In order to truly mentor, I also need to establish some educational goals. I know I need to go back and reread my Thomas Jefferson Education book because I’m missing some of the key elements to mentoring, but I’m trying.

I know it will all come together. Learning and growing is one of the joys of being a family. If something isn’t working for our family we have the ability to change and mold it to fit our family’s needs. As the kids get older I am finding that many of our methods, be they schooling, parenting, or household living, are needing to be updated to meet the needs of everyone in our family. We are growing daily, learning from each other to better ourselves along the way.

Saving For the Big One

As I’ve mentioned several times before, Jake is a Lego junkie. If he didn’t have to eat and sleep he would be building or creating with Legos 24 hours a day if I’d let him. He always has some Lego project set up on his desk in mid-build, waiting for the creative juices to continue flowing so that he can finish it at a later time, or in some cases, continually updating it as a forever-work-in-progress.

Jake is also a frequenter of Lego.com. He likes to watch the Lego-mation videos that people have created and posted, as well as examine the newest Lego products on the market. Because I don’t feel that my children need to have every toy ever created, he understands that he is just LOOKING at the new Lego products and will not be RECEIVING the Lego products.

A few weeks ago he discovered a new Star Wars Lego ship that had come out on the market in conjunction with the new animated Star Wars Clone Wars movie that is coming out. The V-19 Torrent looked pretty cool, but I wasn’t about to spend $50 on a Lego ship that, once taken apart, will never go back together again, but instead be incorporated into our Lego bucket. We have many ships that have met this demise…Star Wars fighters, Batmobiles, etc. For $50 I could buy him several sets of plain Legos for him to use in his general building projects or to combine with the deconstructed specialty items to create ships that even George Lucas would be envious of.

Having a summer birthday does come in handy…especially when it falls exactly six months from the night many celebrate the birth of a certain baby (did you know he was most likely born in the spring…more about that another day). Jake gets gifts exactly six months apart, nicely spacing out his present opening fun. (I don’t get that joy. My birthday is right near Christmas, lumping all of my gifts into one event. I’m not bitter at all.) This year he received a significant amount of birthday money. My one rule was that he wasn’t allowed to spend his money until he had written thank you notes to everyone, letting them know what he was planning to purchase with the money he had received. We compromised; I typed the “thank yous” and he agreed to 30-minutes of typing lessons each day (pretty good deal I think).

After all was said and done, he had just about enough for a nice Lego product. He decided that he needed to beef up his daily chore completion in order to earn the rest of the money needed for the V-19 Torrent. He chose the more difficult chores each day during our family meeting (earning him more money) and we decided that if all the daily chores were completed the kids could each earn a $.25 bonus. His has been earning about $3.50 a week, quickly meeting his goal and eagerly awaiting our next trip to Target.



Well, he got his wish on Monday and purchased the V-19 Torrent on sale at Target for $50. We spent the afternoon putting the ship together. He did all the constructing and I was the piece sorter. Jake is a throw-it-all-in-a-pile-and-fish-it-out kind of kid…that isn’t necessarily how I would have done it, but we found all the pieces and they all fit in the right places. He is pleased with is creation and has vowed not to disassemble it and put it with the bulk parts. He is taking extra care of it because he spent his own money on it.



I’m proud of him for saving his money for something he really wanted. I’m interested to see what he’ll decide to save up for next. I wonder if his chore completion will suffer because there isn’t currently a goal to save for. I guess we’ll see.

A Stingingly Good Time

Today’s adventure to the beach was a learning experience.

We were late for various reasons…
• Sunscreen always takes longer to apply than one expects
• Some children don’t appreciate the application of sunscreen
• Lessons were needed as to why we don’t wear underwear under our swimwear
• The sandwiches didn’t make themselves for some reason
• Rash guards sometimes take legs and walk away

Once we were there, the kids had fun meeting up with some of the other homeschoolers we’ve met over the past few weeks. They built sandcastles, played in the water, and one even got stung by a jellyfish!

Jensen was getting out of the water while I was assisting a hermit crab into a bucket for the other kids to see (as Jolie was screaming bloody-murder that it was going to get her) when he started crying and grabbing for his ankle. As I walked over, I saw the darn thing, announced its presence, and started the examining process.

I’ve never had to really deal with jellyfish stings. I don’t remember being stung as a child, nor do I remember my sisters being stung, so this was a first. So I racked my brain for possible remedies and came up with nothing, so I improvised.

Not seeing any tentacles attached to his leg, I poured fresh water (mistake - I guess using fresh water will cause the stingers to continue to release their toxin) on his ankle, making him cry even more. Realizing that that wasn’t working, I took him up to the picnic area and looked at it again. The other moms were trying to help, one suggesting that I pee on his foot (old wive's tale)and another handed me an anti-septic from her bag. Well, I wasn’t going to pee on his foot and he wouldn’t let me apply the anti-septic. After about ten minutes he was doing fine and wanted to play on the playground with the other kids. He has a bit of a red mark still on his leg, but he insists that he is fine and is enjoying playing Legos with his brother and sister.

When we got home, I did some research and I believe that he was stung by a Stinging Nettle. According to the Gulf Specimen Marine Lab, located in Panacea, FL, Stinging Nettles are “one of the most common jellyfish of the Atlantic and Gulf coasts. The umbrella is pale white with red lines resembling the spokes of a wheel. Fine reddish tentacles trailing from the bell are covered with stinging cells and are instant death to small fish and other creatures that pass by them. Swimmers who come in contact with them experience a painful burning and stinging sensation and inflammation which soon disappears.”

Sources differ in their recommendations for the treatment of jellyfish stings. It looks like vinegar, baking soda and meat tenderizer are all somewhat acceptable options, although there are various methods out there.

I’ll be more prepared next time we head to the beach. A small container of vinegar will probably be one of our new beach staples. I need to work on our get-out-the-door time, the number of bags we bring, and a better way to prevent sand from getting in the van. Any advice would be grately appreciated.

With my kids the ages they are, a 3:1 ratio is not recommended when heading to the beach, especially with not-yet-able-to-fully-swim children. I think I’ll be bringing the other parental unit with me next time…3:2 is a much better ratio.

No More Diapers

I believe I can officially declare that we are done with diapers!

Jensen has been accident free for two full weeks, both during the day and at night. He decided about three weeks ago that he wasn’t going to wear a diaper to bed. I was nervous, but thought, “And so it begins.” The next day he had a bazillion accidents and I thought we were in for a long haul. But the following day he had two accidents, and then the day after he had one. I was surprised at the lack of effort I had to put into potty training this child. He didn’t even use a toddler potty. He wanted nothing to do with that thing. I had one of those that turn into a stool, so you guessed it, it is now a stool.

Each of my kids has been so different to potty train…

Jake showed some interest in potty training when he was about 18 months old. I knew we were getting ready to move, and didn’t want to have to be potty training as we were driving the entire length of the country, so I didn’t push the issue and he quickly moved on…seemingly never to have that desire again. I say never because he never really showed much interest in potty training after that. He had a diaper and that was fine with him. When he was two and a half, I started the “Let’s use the potty now” request with little luck. He just wasn’t interested. “Aren’t all children potty trained by now? Isn’t my child too old to be in diapers?” I would ask myself. I battled with him for several months until he was completely #1 potty trained, but #2 was another story. As much as I hate reward systems, stickers worked for getting him #1 potty trained. I hate to say it, but I had to use bribery to achieve #2. We promised Jake that if he would go #2 on the potty, then we would buy him a light saber…you know, Star Wars. He was just about to turn three, Justin was getting ready to go on deployment, and I was pregnant. We had to try something. Guess what…it worked! Unfortunately he had to do his big deed on a Sunday evening, at just about closing time. We ran all over town looking for a store that was open and had light sabers. Finally, Justin ran into a K. B. Toy Store (not the cheapest place, I know) just as they were locking up and asked if he could just get a light saber for his son. They agreed and he grabbed the first one he saw. Which one did he grab, you ask? None other than Count Douku’s saber…the cool red one with the bent handle. How much was it, you ask? A whopping $30!! He loved that light saber (which just recently died) and he was potty trained from then on.

I wasn’t pleased with the potty training method I used with Jake and vowed not to force potty train again.

Jolie’s story is a bit better and a bit shorter. She woke up one day when she was 26 months old and said that she wasn’t going to wear diapers again…and she didn’t. The end. She grabbed a sticker when she wanted to, but didn’t NEED the stickers like Jake did. She just wanted to go on the potty and she did. I don’t remember any real accidents, day or night. She had her mind made up, and there you go.

Jensen showed some interest before we moved (at about 26 months) and I thought, “Woo hoo, another easy one.” Well…after a few days the novelty wore off, and there was absolutely no interest. I ran to the stickers (believe it or not, they were the same ones I used with the other two). I started to tell him that he’d get a sticker if he went potty, but stopped myself. My mom always says that the kids won’t go to college in diapers, and she’s right. I put the stickers away, and waited for him to make the first move. He asked to go several times before we moved, but nothing much came of it. Three weeks ago, something happened and he decided he was ready…and so was I.

So, I won’t have to buy any more diapers (have you seen how much they cost!). I have stopped carrying around a diaper bag (I still keep a change of clothes for all of us in the van just in case). I will still feel bad that we didn’t use cloth, but hopefully I can persuade my kids to use them (maybe I’ll even front the bill if I can).

If potty training has taught me anything, it reinforced that…
All children are different.
They each work on their own timetable.
Forcing children to do something will not help them to learn how to do it; forcing them may actually discourage them from doing it.
Relax and let nature take its course.

Guess what, they won’t go to college in diapers.

We're Here!

That's right. We made it and are officially moved in.

There were only a few mishaps along the way. Well, really just one. Our stuff didn’t arrive when originally promised. We called the carrier, the military, the dispatcher. No one knew where our stuff was. Our hands were tied, so what did we do…we sat in an empty house and waited, guessing where our stuff might be…on its way to California, strewn about the highway, burnt to a crisp…let your imagination run wild. Luckily, our stuff arrived the next morning, with little to no damage that we have found thus far. Our only total loss was a small pressboard bookshelf that a neighbor had given us.

We have nearly unpacked all of our boxes. The master is the only room left that really has boxes. We unboxed the kids’ rooms first so that they would have something to do while we worked on the rest of the house.

Justin and I have different unboxing methods. He is more of a “get-everything-out-of-the-box-first-so-I-can-get-the-box-out-of-the-room” kind of guy, where as I’m more of a “let-it-sit-in-the-box-till-I-know-where-I-want-to-put-it” kind of gal. During our last move, Justin unboxed everything by himself while I was in another state waiting to give birth, and the move before that was fairly simple, and we hadn’t yet established our unboxing styles. We are a bit more set in our unboxing ways now that we are “old” (in the military, we are nearly over the hill), so we are doing a bit of compromising and it is all coming together nicely. I bet everything will be in its place before he reports to work on Monday.

This being our fifth move in ten years, we have learned several lessons about moving.

1. Do not, for any reason, leave your valuables assessable to the packers, no matter how nice they are. They might just steal from you.

2. Be sure to pack truly sentimental items with you. No one will ever be able to replace those baby books or expensive instruments should they be lost or broken, so take them with you.

3. Be kind to the movers. Don’t forget, they are the ones who will be transporting all of your worldly possessions to your next destination. Upsetting them might not be good for your belongings.

4. Although not technically required, feed your movers. They tend to move a bit more quickly when their tanks are full.

5. Do not plan to do anything else on moving day(s). Packing, loading and unloading take time, and no matter what time they guesstimate they will be done, add several hours to it.

6. Be flexible. Each move is different (different locations, different numbers of family members, different amounts of belongings). Be as organized as possible, know who to call if there is a problem, and relax. As I have learned, getting uptight doesn’t do anything for anyone.

The Generosity of a Little Girl

A few months ago, I was reintroduced to Locks of Love. I showed the web video to Jolie, who was immediately hooked. She decided that she wanted to donate her hair to a little girl who didn’t have any hair. We discussed the different reasons why a child might not be able to grow any hair, which instantly intensified her desire to give.

Locks of Love requires ten inches of hair in order to make a hairpiece. Jolie had just about ten inches (which would keep her new hairdo from being too short), so I encouraged her to wait a few months and then we would get her hair cut. I’m pretty sure I was asked to measure her hair at least every other day to ensure that she was making progress and would eventually have enough to give.
Well, at the end of April, the day finally came. My neighbor watched the boys and Jolie and I made a special trip to a salon to get our haircut. This was her first “professional” hair cut. I had trimmed her hair several times up to that point, the first of which being when she was about three.
She did a fantastic job. She sat still, looked down when told, and seemingly enjoyed the experience.
When we got home from the salon, we placed her ponytail in an envelope and sent it to Locks of Love.
I am amazed at the generosity of my daughter. At only five years old, she is already starting to display the character traits that would make any parent proud. I’m sure I’m biased because she is mine, but she impresses me everyday.

Learning About Stealing the Hard Way

Early last week Jake went in the back yard to grab his scooter and helmet, just to play for a while out front after dinner. After a few minutes, he came back in, unable to find either item. I went out to try to help him find them, knowing that Jake is one of those kids who is blinded by the refrigerator light. It must be genetic because so is my husband. Okay, I thought a second set of eyes couldn't hurt. We checked the bike shed (we have one of those Rubber Maid, sliding-roof sheds), behind the garbage can, under the umbrella table. No luck. I questioned him as to the last time he had it, and he couldn't remember. We then searched in the front area, again with no luck.

You must know that we live in a town home community with lots of kids. Our cul-de-sac of town homes fills one regular school bus with elementary school children (minus mine, of course). That's not counting the additional middle schoolers and high schoolers that live on our street. Take that, times about 15 cul-de-sacs in our neighborhood, and that's a lot of kids!

You also must know that not everyone parents their children the same way my husband and I parent ours (imagine that!). There are children on our street who are out till all hours on school nights, some who are rude to non-related adults, some who vandalize community areas, and some who steal. This last attribute is the one that was of greatest importance to Jake and myself last week.

After a grand search, we created and put up (in the drizzling rain) the following posters -

We believe that it is possible that the scooter and helmet were accidentally left out front last weekend after a quick switch from skating to playing manhunt or some other make-believe boy game.

I had to explain to him that unfortunately not everyone respects other people's property, making it important that we put our things away when we are through with them so that those individuals aren't tempted by our nice things and do something they shouldn't. The hardest part for me was not running out and buying him another scooter and helmet. I originally thought that the small wheels on that type of scooter made them a bit dangerous, and told him that I would not buy him one and if he wanted a scooter like that, then he would have to spend his own money to purchase one. Well, he saved his birthday money and some allowance money and bought himself the red RAZOR scooter you see above. I was proud of him for saving his money for something that he wanted, and am now hurting that it was stolen from him.

Luckily, my mother-in-law bought him a nice skating helmet for the holidays, so he has another helmet to use when he rides his bike or skateboard (yes, my family all wear helmets when we do not have two feet on the ground). He hasn't yet said whether or not he will buy himself another scooter.

Unfortunately, Jake had to learn about stealing the hard way. Sometimes I hate natural consequences, but I'm sure he learned his lesson and will think twice before leaving anything out for those tempted individuals who were not taught the Golden Rule.